Real Man

To my beloved mother and my lovely two younger sisters, I wrote this for you with all my heart.

Who is a real man? A man who looks very solid masculine or a man who is leading a family? Or a man who can control not to cry at the time of serious emotional condition? In another way, can we identify being a real man or not by how much money he makes? 

In the spring of 26 years ago, I was born and my gender identified me as a boy. My father and his family is Chinese whose tradition is male priority. Throughout the years I grow up, being male was privilege. Chicken soup and good part of that chicken is for me and my cousin brother because we are boys. We got good couches to sleep at home because we are boys. We can go everywhere we want at anytime because we are boys. Is it lucky enough for being male? 

As opposite, my sisters are struggling among the society norms. They are not able to go somewhere so early or so late because they are girls. They cannot go some part of the religious building or places because they are born as girls. In the details, our society norms do not allow them to speak or laugh loudly. Why are there so great gap between male and female? 

For me personally, being born as male cannot called myself as real man. The responsibilities I am taking and the attitude how I treat women determines my manhood and literally who I am. Women are being bullied in many different ways that man never experienced. Teachers and girls and whoever women are harassed sexually or verbally or cyberlly on buses or on the sidewalks or anywhere by man. 

Recently I went to the northern part of Myanmar called Kachin state where there is a decade long conflict between two armies. In my visiting days, I had chance to go to IDP camps and talk with people and I have heard many heartache stories about their experiences on how they suffer from civil war. Particularly, the most vulnerable people are women and children among all. Everyone knows that any war is not good for anyone. Let me complete then, any war is not good especially for women who are always victims for sexual assaults during war. 

In our country, Myanmar, women are harassed plus left behind men in anywhere. The girls are being sold to neighbouring countries for sex work. Even baby girls and immature girls are ripped with no reasons every day. Women are used just as helper or entertainer for making events possible, never in leading role roles. 

Guys, let me say this. Women are not different. They are as same as us like humans. A girl who asks for help does not mean that she favours you. It is simply just because she needs help. A girl who is drunk and cannot even talk to you, it is not an automatic consent and opportunity for sex, please remember that it is just crime. Women rights are not the rights for the people of another planets. Women rights are literally your mothers’ rights, your sisters’ rights, your daughters’ rights as well as your girlfriends’ rights. So, don’t you think that our mothers, sisters, daughters and girlfriends deserve better? Don’t you think women deserve equal chance and equal opportunity like us? Don’t you think women can also make the world fairer, stronger and more peaceful? 

Since all of us are born with dignity, grit and grace, nothing is different. We all are equal regardless of sexual orientation, prosperity, skin colour, political belief, race and religion. Everyone is fighting for their own life. So, if your life matters, everyone’s life matters. In the same way, women’s lives matter.

I am not a dreamer but once and for all, one of my ultimate dreams for this beloved country is a country where all man treats every single woman and girl with respect and decency and prove that we all are real men.

Be bold to respect women and be real man. And finally, let your society to be big-hearted ones.